day 853: equinox
last night I dreamt my grandfather was sitting on a sidewalk bench. it’s dusk, in a city by the water – the sky has an apocalypse glow. I’m rushing off, but I look back to tell him I miss him and find a half empty ghost. I said it more for him than for me but now I’m crying and confused. he looks like a hologram. he looks at me. he’s glazed over and shimmering half focused; mostly empty, but a little scared and patient too.
I get out of bed and put on coffee. open the window – the first day of fall.
Om Gum Shrim Maha Lakshmiyei Swaha